There are so many myths attached to the hymen – the thin membrane that surrounds the vaginal opening – that sometimes it's difficult to sort fact from fiction. If you believed them all, you'd think it "pops" the first time you have sex; that if yours isn't visible it means you've already had penetrative sex; that you're no longer a virgin if yours is "broken", to name just a few.
At best, these misnomers are harmless – at worst, they perpetuate sexist notions of female virginity and leave women feeling baffled by- and detached from their own vaginas. Hymens come in different shapes, but most often they're shaped like a half moon, allowing period blood to leave the vagina, as the US-based Center for Young Women's Health's guide explains.
However, some women are born with hymenal abnormalities that can result in problems ranging from period blood getting trapped in the vagina to difficulty having sex, and they may not realise until their teenage years, as an article from BBC Three highlighted recently. Georgia Watts discovered she had a septate hymen at 16 when she visited A&E after a tampon got stuck inside her.
"It was only when I plucked up the courage to have a look in the mirror that I realised why the tampon wasn’t budging," Watts wrote. "My heart sank as I saw a thick, fibrous string of tissue stretching across the bottom of the now expanded tampon." She was booked in for a hymenectomy to remove the extra tissue and now campaigns to raise awareness of the issue.
Hymen abnormalities are most often diagnosed during adolescence when girls start their periods, because once menstrual blood starts becoming trapped inside the vagina each month, it can cause pain that's hard to ignore. Dr Leila CG Frodsham, consultant gynaecologist and specialist in psychosexual medicine, says girls may find out their hymen is atypical "if they have not started their periods but are getting other symptoms: breast development, pubic hair growth, monthly breast tenderness, pelvic cramping pain each month and no bleeding. With an imperforate hymen this can go on for many months." Difficulty inserting tampons or achieving penetration are also telltale signs, she adds.
The different types of hymen abnormalities
Imperforate hymen: An imperforate hymen is where the vaginal opening is completely covered by the hymenal membrane and is therefore the most serious. With nowhere for it to go, period blood is forced back up into the vagina and can develop into a mass or lump and result abdominal and/or back pain, according to the Center for Young Women's Health. Women or girls with an imperforate hymen may experience problems going to the toilet, but corrective surgery can rectify the problem by removing the extra tissue.
Microperforate hymen: This is when the vaginal opening is partially covered by the hymen –in such cases, it's tiny and largely invisible. Period blood can make its way through, but girls/women with a microperforate hymen may have problems inserting and removing tampons, especially when they're saturated with blood.
Septate hymen: Girls/women with a septate hymen have two visible vaginal openings instead of the typical one, due to a thin extra band of tissue (septum) that runs through the middle. Trouble inserting or removing tampons is common, and minor corrective surgery can be carried out to correct it.
How common are hymen abnormalities?
Not very. One statistic suggests an imperforate hymen affects between one in every 1,000 to 10,000 women, which mean between 3,200 and 32,000 women in the UK could be living with the condition. "There are no data to support a prevalence [of hymen abnormalities], and some women may never present [with their issues]", says Dr Frodsham. "Sometimes women can present acutely with cyclical pain as period blood is trapped in the vagina but this is relatively rare. In over 20 years in gynaecology, I've seen this less than five times. Difficulties with consummation are also not common and even in running a specialist service I have seen true difficulties from partially perforate vaginas fewer than ten times."
What causes them?
"There is a common misconception that all hymenal problems are due to sexual abuse or misadventure, such as accidents during childhood and younger life, which is not the case," says Dr Anne Henderson, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist. "The vast majority of hymenal problems are embryological and occur during growth and development in the womb. Women who present with these problems should therefore not fear any stigma or embarrassment."
What should you do if think you're affected?
As with any gynaecological concerns, visit your doctor, practice nurse or visit a sexual health clinic, advises Dr Frodsham. "If the difficulty is with having periods, a minor surgical procedure to cut the hymen is required. If it is in having sex, massage of the opening of the vagina and insertion of fingers or use of dilators can easily resolve the issue. Inspire dilators are softer and have a curve to match the vagina so can be more comfortable and effective that traditional plastic dilators if there is just a small hole." Surgery will be advised in rare instances.
Why are hymens still shrouded in mystery?
It's taken this long for women's sexual anatomy more broadly to become a topic of public conversation, so it makes sense than hymenal abnormalities – which affect a relatively small portion of women – will remain underground even longer. "I think hymenal issues will become a major topic of conversation, much as labial problems have been in recent years," Dr Anderson says. "Many women first become aware of them when they either have difficulty inserting tampons or experience discomfort or pain with sexual intercourse. Whereas previously generations may have simply ignored this, I think the current generation are much more likely to seek advice and I welcome this."
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
It's pretty impossible to avoid pollution. Smoke and particulate matter from motor vehicles and industrial facilities, as well as infrared light and UV all contribute, but to combat the complexion-ravaging effects, antioxidant ingredients like vitamin C, vitamin E and ferulic acid are becoming incredibly popular in skincare.
As Dr Murad, board-certified dermatologist, associate clinical professor of medicine at UCLA and founder of Murad skincare, previously explained to R29, the result of pollutants embedding themselves into the skin manifests in a number of different ways: "Firstly, pollutants trigger the immune system to produce excessive melanin which causes pigmentation, skin darkening and inflammation. Secondly, pollutants weaken the skin barrier, causing lines and wrinkles." It's no wonder, then, that pollution is one of the major sources of concern for both health and beauty.
If pollution has the ability to make changes to our skin, can it do the same thing to our hair? Haircare brands would have you think so, bringing to market 'detox' shampoos with pollution-busting ingredients like exfoliating sea salt crystals, intensely lathering sodium phytate and plant extracts to remove pollution particle build-up from scalp and strands. But how much do we really need anti-pollution haircare?
"In terms of your hair, pollution can make it look dull and lacklustre, and feel coated and heavy," explains Anabel Kingsley, trichologist at Philip Kingsley. "Pollution, such as dust, dirt and daily grime, affects the hair and scalp in a similar way to the skin on our face. It makes hair dirty and can also increase the likelihood of scalp problems, such as flaking and itching, as well as blocked follicles and the formation of pimples. Shampooing regularly is the best way to prevent pollution from affecting your hair and scalp. Apply a similar thinking to your hair and scalp as you do to your skin, as what benefits one will most likely benefit the other."
While a deep cleanse can be beneficial (especially if you use lots of products or are prone to oily roots), Sam Burnett, owner and creative director of London salon, Hare & Bone warns against overdoing it – even if the thought of pollution-logged lengths makes you want to wash your hair daily. "Despite pollution causing a build-up of dirt, over-washing will strip the scalp and hair's natural oils," adds Sam. "This will dry out your ends, which could cause hair to break and increase split ends, especially when styling." His advice? Introducing a clarifying or deep cleansing shampoo into your haircare routine alongside your usual shampoo once a week. Sam rates KMS Head Remedy Deep Cleanse Shampoo, £15, for chipping away at pollution grime and oil. Also try Klorane's Anti-Pollution Detox Shampoo, £8 (the star ingredient is aquatic mint, an active ingredient said to gently remove any build-up and prevent clogging), and TRESemme Cleanse & Renew Deep Cleansing Shampoo, £5.49, which, like many anti-pollution skincare products, enlists vitamin C – essentially a shield against pollutants.
While it's difficult to block every single strand from the effects of pollution, which can include dullness, dryness and a weighed down feel, Sam advises investing in lightweight styling products, as they are less likely to clog your scalp or sit heavily on the hair, making it look greasy.
Even though it's mainly your scalp that needs attention where pollution such as particulate matter is concerned, if your hair is dyed, especially blonde or grey, it pays to invest in sun protection to prevent fading and brittleness. "Just like pollutants, such as smog and chemicals in the air, UV rays are instrumental to hair and scalp damage," explains Sam. Alongside your usual styling cream, oil or serum, Anabel suggests veiling a hair-specific SPF, like Philip Kingsley Daily Damage Defence Conditioning Spray, £18, over towel-dried lengths post-hair wash. Also try Sachajuan's Hair In The Sun, £20, and Aveda's Suncare Protective Hair Veil, £22.50. "Porous hair is more likely to become stained by environmental pollution, such as smoke fumes," adds Anabel, "so it's important to use styling products that contain UV filters. To also help reduce porosity, seal the outer hair cuticle and increase shine, use a weekly pre-shampoo conditioning treatment, such as Elasticizer."
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
I’m a pretty frugal person, usually opting to save my cash and absolutely never spending money I don’t have. Don’t get me wrong: I like nice things too, and one of my favourite things to do is go to a wine bar and drink obscure, fantastic reds at more than a tenner a glass. But a £50 bar tab is not something I can afford much more frequently than every once in a while.
I’m a freelancer, which means a life with more freedom in exchange for less money. I make it work by never really buying anything I don’t strictly need, which is fortunately not hard because I find shopping pretty boring; I swear I’m *this* close to adapting some sort of Mark Zuckerberg uniform of grey T-shirts and jeans, just so I can stop thinking about it altogether. Not to mention that for me, having some cash stashed away is a far bigger rush than a new pair of shoes. Money is freedom: the ability to say no to things, to get out of bad situations, and to occasionally go do the things I really want to do.
Because once in a blue moon, you have to just spend the cash. When I got married six years ago, my parents and my husband’s parents very generously gifted us £2k for the wedding each. It was a lot of money to us, considering we ended up spending about £250 on getting married, including the £79 registrar fee at Hackney Town Hall, the £55 titanium wedding rings, and the £2.80 bus fare. We hadn’t told anyone we were getting married so we had no guests except for our witnesses, there was no dress (I wore shorts and a T-shirt) and we celebrated with a pub lunch down the road. I remember that day as one big thrill – I felt so damn happy walking along the canal afterwards, amazed at how suddenly life had changed.
Courtesy of Jessica Furseth
So we didn’t spend the £4k on the wedding but we had plans for it nevertheless: to blow it all on our honeymoon. The plan was to fly to New York, rent a car and spend three weeks driving across the continent, then fly home from San Francisco. Going on an American road trip had been a lifelong dream for both of us. I still don’t know why our parents were more disappointed: because we didn’t have a wedding or because we spent the money on travel instead of something more substantial. But for us it felt like the right thing to do – this was the moment to go for it.
We started the drive in Savannah, passing through the town of Anniston, Georgia, where we were chased by blind dogs when we took a wrong turn back to the freeway after seeing the world’s largest office chair. We had incredible dry-rubbed smoked ribs in a basement restaurant in Memphis, where people wore their best clothes to eat a dinner that required wet wipes and the free-refill sodas were brought out two at a time, for efficiency. We stayed at basic motels and ate cheap American roadside food every day for lunch to make our money go further. In Natchez on the Mississippi they served us fried green tomatoes, catfish, brown shrimp and sweet potato fries complete with Louisiana hot sauce, before we sat down outside and watched the sun set into the wide blue river. I remember being so amazed by it all: I’ve never seen such big country.
We’re divorced now, after three years of marriage. The divorce process took a lot longer than getting married ever did, in part because we had to sell our flat – the 'substantial' thing our parents would have far preferred we spend our money on. Buying property comes with a million extra expenses, including fees for brokers and banks and movers and furniture, and we certainly didn’t live there long enough to justify it all. But who ever expects to get divorced? Breaking a mortgage contract early really isn’t cheap but there was no other way, as neither of us could afford to keep the flat on our own. In the year and a half that we owned it, we were lucky enough for the flat to accrue value, but we didn’t really notice any of it; any gains were sucked up by the fees that came along with our sudden change in life plans. Property is a racket, but yes, I know this means we got lucky.
Courtesy of Jessica Furseth
This is two, three years ago now, and I’m happily unmarried and living in rented accommodation again. And I’m really, really glad my ex-husband and I spent that £4k on a trip of a lifetime. In New Mexico, the road cut through the grassland, endless in every direction and in every possible shade of yellow. I spent hours walking around the red sandrock landscape of Sedona, Arizona, where four rock formations supposedly cover vortexes that are channelling the energy of the universe. I don’t know about that but it was stunning to look at, and the place had the most incredible vibes. I’d say the same about Joshua Tree, California, where we didn’t even mean to stop but ended up staying for several days, utterly charmed by the goofy-looking trees that covered the arid landscape, resembling visitors from another planet.
If we’d listened to our parents and funnelled that £4k into the flat, it would have all been gone now, lost somewhere between the broker fees and the would-be upgrade to a better sofa. I wouldn’t have had any of these memories, which are some of the best of my marriage. We were so happy on that trip, in that wide open landscape under that giant sky, as our lives together were just starting. Nothing that happened later can take away from that. So yes, blowing that £4k on a magical honeymoon was a brilliant use of money. I can still remember driving down a single-track road on the coast of California, standing on a beach with purple sand and looking out over the ocean, there at the end of the world. It’s a long time ago now, but I think about that moment all the time.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome to Why Aren't You Watching... where we direct you to some of the great television that has flown under the pop culture radar. Can't face blindly scrolling for something to watch? We've got you covered. Here's where we recommend your next TV series.
There are many reasons to adore Maya Rudolph. It could be for her role as Lillian in Bridesmaids, voicing Diane Birch on Netflix’s Big Mouth, or as the scene-stealing Judge in The Good Place. But one of her lesser known brilliant performances is found in a gem of a show hiding out on Amazon Prime. You guys, you need to watch Forever.
I'll warn you now that even in describing this series to you, I need to tread carefully. Forever takes such glorious and dramatic turns in its narrative that being able to pinpoint where you started becomes increasingly tricky as the show progresses through its eight-part run. Just when you think you've got a handle on how it's going to play out, another curveball is thrown your way. In the last 45 seconds of an episode, just as you sense the gentle wind down towards the end credits, you get one of those world-flipping moments that leaves you with no idea where you'll wake up when the following episode starts rolling.
Rudolph plays June, one half of the married couple who anchor this tale. Her husband, Oscar (Fred Armisen), is the quintessential normcore middle-aged man of the many American comedies that have come before this one. He's a dentist and wears full-sleeve button-down shirts (with all but the very top button done up) at all times. He's a man of routine. So much so that when June suggests going somewhere other than the lake house for their annual holiday, he doesn't quite know what to do. "What about a ski trip?" June suggests. "I don't know. I already told my staff that we're going up to the lake house. So what do I tell them tomorrow if they ask me about it?" Oscar returns. "That we decided to go somewhere new this year?" June patiently offers. Oscar tries it on for size. "'Hey guys, we're going skiing this weekend.' Yeah, that could work," he resolves.
courtesy of amazon prime.
Yep, Forever is as rooted in the apparent mundanity of married life in your 40s as it is the love around which that marriage is built. The series tiptoes towards painstakingly dull aspects of the day to day, before merrily skipping away from the thing it wanted you to take note of and into an understatedly hilarious scenario – usually at the hands of the wonderful woman leading the narrative.
June is fine. June loves her husband, gets on well with life and has a single best friend with whom she can review dirty pictures of attractive barmen. But the repetitiveness of her very comfortable life is getting to her. In a clever and purposefully too long opening montage, we're given a five-minute snapshot of how June and Oscar met, dated, got married and went on 13 fishing trips to the lake house together. We watch as the enthusiasm literally slips from June's face each time Oscar eagerly presents the same fresh trout dinner so that, by the time we reach the last meal, June is left with nothing but an expression of quiet desperation for there to be more to life than this shit. The ski trip is June's first tentative nudge out of their comfort zone. It's also the catalyst for a new, defining direction for the series to amble towards, but I shan't spoil the surprise for you here.
Forever asks so many questions. How long should you be with someone? Is just okay good enough? June and Oscar have a pally relationship in which they spend endearing moments being silly with one another, so does there have to be more? Subplots circulate the core relationship and the pace is punctuated by standout moments in Maya Rudolph's signature laugh-out-loud quips – making a move on an unsuspecting pastor and telling a bratty 11-year-old to suck her dick included. At the very least what we've got is a sharp, short series that's begging to be binged (each episode is less than 30 minutes, you can do it in a day). At most, we've got an existential comedy that'll ask you the big and small questions about life without you even realising.
Forever is available to stream on Amazon Prime now
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
With "Dear, Black Love" #r29unbothered is celebrating relationships through the lens of blackness and intersectionality. On this episode, we talk to Crystal and her partner Kiesh about why nothing comes close to loving a black woman, as a black woman, because black love can be monogamous, polyamorous, interracial, queer, heteronormative and so much more!
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The Stark sisters may have some tense moments on screen, but if there was any doubt that the two Game of Thrones actresses, Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner are close, that has all but evaporated after the latter's hilarious wine-fuelled Instagram story last night.
Turner, who plays Sansa Stark, posted an Instagram story following Sunday night's episode reacting to the very sexy times that were had by her co-star, who plays Arya Stark.
In season 8's second episode, Arya and Gendry Baratheon (Joe Dempsie), the bastard son of late King Robert Baratheon, finally got it on after teasing the pair's electric sexual tension. Ever the dedicated friend, Turner took to Instagram to share her unfiltered thoughts on the moment that took Twitter by storm.
“In honour of Easter, I guess Game of Thrones wanted the storyline to have a little Easter bunny hop hop hoppin’ into that pussaay," said Turner, donning a bathrobe and drinking a glass of red wine. "And that’s the tea." It may be the best video on the Internet today.
why is no one on my tl talking about miss sophie referring to gendry as an easter bunny hop hop hopping into that PUSSAY? pic.twitter.com/aA9budFhwz
After Gendry went to deliver a weapon that she had requested herself, Arya asked her crush about his sexual partners and promptly told him to take his pants off. "It’s obviously slightly strange for me because I’ve known Maisie since she was 11, 12 years old, Dempsie told EW.com of the scene. "At the same time, I don’t want to be patronising toward Maisie — she’s a 20-year-old woman. So we just had a lot of fun with it."
It's such a great scene that, as Turner so aptly points out, it deserves its own toast. Now, can Turner recap every episode like this? Knowing what's on the line for next week's battle, we're going to need a little tipsy pick-me-up.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
That’s why it’s so important to celebrate institutions actually making a concerted effort to reach gender parity. This year, the Tribeca Film Festival’s competition sections consist of 50% women-directed or co-directed films, up from 44% in 2018. And that’s not all: 29% of feature films are directed by people of colour, and 13% by directors identifying as LGBTQIA.
The festival will run in New York City April 24-May 5, with many of the films slated for theatrical release shortly thereafter. From a Buffalo debt-collecting scam caper led by Zoey Deutch, to Erin Lee Carr’s latest HBO documentary deep dive into the USA Gymnastics Team abuse scandal, here are the movies you should definitely keep an eye out for.
Blow The Man Down
Directed by: Danielle Krudy and Bridget Savage Cole Starring: Morgan Saylor, Sophie Lowe, Margo Martindale, June Squibb, Anette O’Toole, Marceline Hugot
Sisters Mary Beth (Saylor) and Priscilla Connolly (Lowe) are born and bred natives of Easter Cove, a small fishing town off the coast of Maine. Their mother’s death has left them with bills, an over-mortgaged house and a failing business — now must cover up a crime. But what they don’t know is that they’re not the only ones in town with a secret. Think Manchester by the Sea meets Thoroughbreds in this darkly funny tale coming-of-age tale of sisterhood, scored with soaring sea shanties.
ClementinePhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
Clementine
Directed by: Lara Jean Gallagher Starring: Otmara Marrero, Sydney Sweeney, Will Brittain, Sonya Walger
There’s a quiet sense of unease at the heart of Clementine, which follows 29-year-old Karen (Marrero) who deals with a difficult split by breaking into her ex’s beautiful Oregon lakehouse. There, she meets Lana (Handmaid’s Tale and Sharp Objects alum Sydney Sweeney) a younger girl with an old soul, whose mysterious charm holds magnetic power. Theirs is a slow seduction that teaches them both some important truths about growing up.
Initials SG
Directed by: Rania Attieh and Daniel Garcia Starring: Diego Peretti, Julianne Nicholson, Daniel Fanego, Malena Sanchez, Fracisco Lumerman
In 1968, French singer Serge Gainsbourg wrote “Initials BB,” an ode to sex symbol, actress, and winged-eyeliner master Brigitte Bardot. This film plays on that iconic musical moment with its portrayal of Sergio Garces (Peretti), an Argentinian Gainsbourg wannabe searching for his own identity as he grapples with the consequences of a crime he didn’t quite mean to commit. If you’re a fan of covers of songs by sexually-explicit 1960s weirdos, dark comedies and crime capers, this is for you.
The Short History Of The Long RoadPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
The Short History Of The Long Road
Directed by: Ani Simon-Kennedy Starring: Sabrina Carpenter, Steven Ogg, Danny Trejo, Maggie Siff, Rusty Schwimmer
Teenage Nola (Carpenter) has grown up on the road. She and her father (Ogg) live out of their beat-up VW van, stopping long enough for Nola to pick up a library book here and there, take a public shower, or do laundry at the carwash. They take on odd jobs for money, and preach their nomadic, self-sufficient lifestyle to anyone who will listen. But when an unexpected twist casts Nola out on her own, she decides to seek out the mother who gave her those big blue eyes — and then her trailer breaks down, forcing her to use all the tools her father taught her.
Knives and Skin
Directed by: Jennifer Reeder Starring: Marika Engelhardt, Tim Hopper, Kate Arrington, Audrey Francis, James Vincent Meredith, Ty Olwin, Grace Smith, Ireon Roach, Raven Whitley, Kayla Carter, Jalen Gilbert, Emma Ladji, Robert Cunningham, Tony Fitzpatrick, Marilyn Dodds Frank
This movie was described to me as Twin Peaks meets Heathers,and that’s all I need to know. Reader captures this surreal, voyeuristic tale of a suburban high school girl (Engelhardt)’s mysterious disappearance with a moody cinematography, vibrant, saturated colours, and acapella 80s covers. Yes, please.
Knives and SkinPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival
Based on Sinha’s own short film, Love Comes Later, which premiered in-competition at the Cannes Film Festival, this slow-burn thriller tells the story of Riz (Thapa), a recent immigrant from India with a shady past she’s trying to escape. But when she takes a job as a housekeeper at a seedy motel run by Una (Nixon), she and roommate Dallas (DeJonge) start to get pulled into the very life Riz has been trying to run from.
Leftover Women
Directed by: Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia
You’re 28. You’re single. According to the Chinese government, you’re a “leftover lady,” an unmarried woman over the age of 27. Shlam and Medalia’s documentary feature chronicles the phenomenon lived by millions of Chinese women, including 34-year-old Beijing lawyer Qiu HuaMei, called “ugly” by her matchmaker, 28-year-old Xu Mi, who lives at home with her mother, and 36-year-old Gai Qi, whose family disapproves of her relationship with a younger man. Government-sponsored speed dating? Matchmakers? This movie’s got it all, and more.
Scheme BirdsPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
Scheme Birds
Directed by: Ellen Fiske and Ellinor Hallin
This documentary feature takes a hard look at the industrial Scottish town of Jerviston, where teenager Gemma is being raised by her grandparents. Using her as their lens on a community that’s been left behind, Fiske and Hallin combine a moving coming-of-age tale with a fight for survival.
Seahorse
Directed by: Jeanie Finlay
Freddy McConnell, a pregnant trans man living in Deale, England, decided to carry his baby to term himself. Jeanie Finlay’s powerful documentary film captures his journey to parenthood, as he navigates healthcare costs, family tensions, constant judgements by strangers, and an uncomfortable reckoning with his own sense of identity.
Flawless
Directed by: Sharon Maymon and Tal Granit Starring: Stav Strashko, Netsanet Zenaneh Mekonnen, Noam Lugasy, Arad Triffon Reshef, Niv Sultan, Asi Levy
This Hebrew language film stars Ukrainian-born Israeli model Strashko as 17-year-old Eden, a trans woman hiding her gender identity from her friends until she discovers that they’re planning to sell their kidneys to afford cosmetic surgery and dresses for senior prom. And if that sounds a little provocative, remember that Maymon co-wrote Skin, this year’s controversial Oscar-winner for Best Short Film.
White As SnowPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
White As Snow
Directed by: Anne Fontaine Starring: Lou de Laâge, Isabelle Huppert, Damien Bonnard, Vincent Macaigne, Benoît Poelvoorde, Charles Berling
After seeing Greta earlier this year, all I want to see is Huppert take on another unhinged fairy tale monster. Enter White As Snow, Fontaine’s sexy modern update on the Snow White story, which stars Huppert as Maud, the Evil Stepmother to de Laâge’s Claire, a beautiful young woman who provokes her with her youth and beauty. When Claire is sent away from her home, she comes across seven local men with whom she embarks on a no-strings-attached journey of sexual awakening. And there’s probably an apple in there somewhere, too.
American Woman
Directed by: Semi Challas Starring: Hong Chau, Sarah Gadon, Lola Kirke, John Gallagher Jr., Ellen Burstyn, David Cubitt
Chellas co-wrote two of my favourite Mad Men episodes (Season 5’s “Far Away Places” and “The Other Woman”), so I had high expectations for this her directorial debut. American Woman far exceeded them. Based on the 2003 novel by the same name by Susan Choi, the film tells the story of the abduction and radicalisation of Patty Hearst (Gadon) through the eyes of a Jenny Shimada (Chau), a real-life activist and fugitive, who spent time with the heiress and her captors in the mid-1970s. Shifting the perspective to Jenny, a woman of colour, gives the well-trod story a fresh and much-needed update.
BuffaloedPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
Buffaloed
Directed by: Tanya Wexler Starring: Zoey Deutch, Judy Greer, Jermaine Fowler, Jai Courtney
Buffalo native Peg Dahl (Deutch) is a hustler. Interested in little more than raking in enough cash to be taken seriously as a budding businesswoman and getting out of the town she despises. So, a fateful call with a debt collector opens the door to a major financial opportunity. She dives right in. Deutch is a riot in this funny, touching film that feels all the more special because it’s a story that would usually feature a male protagonist. (The vibe is roughly comparable to the first half of Wolf of Wall Street, when Jordan Bellfort and his cronies are scamming old ladies with penny stocks.) Who said women can’t skirt the law and make the big bucks?
This is the second Manson-themed film to hit theaters in 2019, with Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon A Time in Hollywood set to follow in July. But Harron’s ( American Psycho) version, from a script by Guinevere Turner, is hardly interested in Charles Manson, cult leader and convicted murderer. Instead, she turns her lens onto the women in his notorious Family, exploring the misogynist dynamics at the heart of the counterculture, and the aftermath of the horrific murders that would land Leslie Van Houten (Murray), Patricia Krenwinkle (Bacon) and Susan Atkins (Rendon) with a life sentence.
Charlie Says Photo: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
Good Posture
Directed by: Dolly Wells Starring: Grace Van Patten, Emily Mortimer, Timm Sharp, John Early, Gary Richardson, Ebon Moss Bachrach
Fans of HBO’s Doll & Em, rejoice! Wells’ feature directorial debut reunites the frequent collaborators in a coming-of-age tale starring Mortimer as Julia, a reclusive writer who rents out a room in her Lilian (Van Patten) a twenty-something who moved to New York for her boyfriend, only to be dumped upon arrival. Like so many New York City roommates, Lilian and Julia do not get along. But instead of resorting to labelling toilet paper rolls, or monitoring how long they keep the lights on, the two instead begin a passive-aggressive note corresponding. Wells, who was just in Can You Ever Forgive Me?, knows how to craft a sharp insult.
Lost Transmissions
Directed by: Katharine O’Brien Starring: Simon Pegg, Juno Temple, Alexandra Daddario, Tao Okamoto, Bria Vinaite, Robert Schwartzman
Not to make everything about A Star Is Born, but fans of Ally and Jackson’s troubled relationship might want to check out this portrait of a promising artist (Temple) struggling to help her best-friend and veteran record producer (Pegg) cope with his mental health issues while preserving his legacy in the L.A. music scene.
After Parkland
Directed by: Emily Taguchi and Jake Lefferman
One year, and two months ago, a gunman opened fire at Marjorie Stoneman Dougas High School in Parkland, Florida, killing 17 students and members of staff, and wounding 17 others. In their moving documentary, which features interviews with survivors and parents of the victims, veteran journalists Emily Taguchi and Jake Lefferman examine the aftermath of the horrific event that sparked renewed debate over the place of guns in America.
At The Heart of Gold
Directed by: Erin Lee Carr
Carr has a rare talent for unpacking incredibly complex true crime situations, delving deep into the psyche of women society has written off. (See: Mommy Dead and Dearest, Carr’s popular HBO documentary about Gypsy Rose Blanchard, who conspired with her boyfriend to murder her abusive mother.) In At The Heart of Gold, Carr flips the script, turning her lens onto the allegations of rampant sexual abuse of hundreds of young women by USA Gymnastics national team doctor Larry Nassar, and the system that allowed him to go unchecked for so long.
Picture Character
Directed by: Martha Shane and Ian Cheney
The grinning shit emoji talks like Sir Patrick Stewart now, so I think it’s safe to say those colourful pictorials are here to stay. But how did emojis start? Who is in charge of creating and codifying what is essentially a modern language? And what does the future look like? Those are the questions Martha Shane and Ian Cheney seek to answer in their feature documentary, which traces the early beginnings of emoji in Japan, and the campaigns for more inclusive and diverse representation. All hail the period emoji!
Circus of Books
Directed by: Rachel Mason
Mason is a nice Jewish girl whose parents own a gay porn shop. In this moving, often hilarious, feature documentary, Mason chronicles Barry and Karen Mason’s journey from selling medical devices to restocking copies of Hand Job Magazine, and launching the adult film production company that would eventually put their kids through school. It’s a compelling family store, but also a look at a dying L.A. landmark — financial struggles and a shrinking customer based forced Circus of Books to close back in January.
Lucky GrandmaPhoto: Courtesy of Tribeca Film Festival.
Lucky Grandma
Directed by: Sasie Sealy Starring: Tsai Chin, Corey Ha, Michael Tow, Woody Fu, Wai Ching Ho, Clem Cheung
I mean, we’ve had how many iterations of Bad Grandpa? It’s about time we got an upgrade. Enter Lucky Grandma, Sealy’s film about an 80-year-old matriarch (Tsai Chin) who decides to start living her best life after her the death of her husband. After a fortune teller (Ho) predicts an upcoming lucky day, Grandma heads off to the casino, only to find herself at the centre of a Chinatown gang war. Who’s the bad girl now?
Pearl
Directed by: Elsa Amiel Starring: Julia Föri, Peter Mullan, Arieh Worthalter, Vidal Arzoni, Agata Buzek
Amiel’s directorial debut is all about girl power. Literally. Pearl stars newcomer Föry as Lea Pearl, a french bodybuilder competing for the title of Miss Heaven. But all that hard work and training is put at risk when her ex ( Worthalter) shows up with the six-year-old son (Arsoni) she left behind.
Martha: A Picture Story
Directed by: Selina Miles
Long before street art became a desirable Instagram backdrop and influencers flocked to Bushwick for guided tours before brunch, photographer Martha Cooper made it her business to document New York City’s burgeoning graffiti movement, and its intersection with the early beginnings of hip-hop. Miles’ film tracks her long and action packed career in a documentary that takes us from 1970s New York to Germany’s U-Bahn.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Straws are undeniably chic. Not only do they keep our lipstick in tact and make our cheekbones look (slightly) more like Naomi Campbell’s, they allow us to slurp our morning coffee at about twice the rate we otherwise might. A quicker caffeine intake means more energy means getting shit done. But single-use plastic straws, which cities like New York, Miami Beach, and Oakland are pledging to fully ban in the coming years, are suddenly so out of fashion they might as well be Crocs. Worn unironically. Thankfully, given our love of both cold brew and bold lips, there are plenty of sustainable alternatives, some of which are so statement-making they could become the next It accessory. (That’s right, in 2019, there are no It bags, only It sustainable goods.)
Etsy, which has over 4,000 reusable straws available for purchase, including ones made of glass and ceramic, has seen a 198 percent increase in search volume for the term over the past year. “People are becoming more and more aware and conscious and opting for those other options,” says Etsy’s trend expert Dayna Isom Johnson. “And when you look into it, it takes 200 years for one plastic straw to break down, so you can make quite an impact.”
We first conceived of straws as potentially covet-worthy in 2018, when Tiffany & Co., trendsetter that it is, began offering $250 (£190) sterling silver straws. The internet exploded as we collectively wondered aloud, who the hell would pay that much for a straw? At the time, it seemed completely ludicrous. Now, it seems only a little bit ludicrous. What a difference a year and some local legislation can make!
While we probably still wouldn’t personally spring for such a pricey straw, we also wouldn’t toss one to the curb if some well-off relative bought us one for graduation in lieu of a silver Infinity bracelet. And lest you assume a straw from Tiffany’s might be used for, um, things other than drinking water, there’s a pigtail-like curl at the top to assure you that it’s not. There’s also an unmistakable Tiffany blue stripe, because if you’re going to spend that much on a straw, people should know about it.
Since the debut of what appears to be the fanciest straw on the market, other brands have followed suit. Goop, bastion of earthiness that it is, offers several straws, including a £62 option that has a rose quartz crystal at one end, and an £22 set of four stainless steel ones that come accompanied by a wire cleaning brush. Tableware designer Kim Seyburt has a six-piece set of very useful-looking spoon/straw hybrids for $140 (£107). Makeup brand Jeffree Star offers a four-pack of pink-toned metal straws for $20 (£17.60). Meanwhile, Anthropologie, West Elm, and Urban Outfitters all offer cheaper, more utilitarian options.
Glacce, maker of the aforementioned Goop crystal straws, broke onto the lifestyle market in 2015 with crystal-embellished water bottles. As embellished bottles of all stripes became must-haves, Glacce gained enough of a cult following to warrant a profile in Vanity Fair. The straws, introduced last year, seem like a natural extension of their brand — which leads us to wonder how long it might be before trendy bottle behemoths like S’well and Soma decide to get in on the action.
“It’s funny because the Glacce bottle came to me in a dream, and then this idea came to me when I was up really late one night sketching and designing, almost like a sleep deprivation kind of thing,” says co-founder Sharon Leslie. “And then we realised there were no straws on the market that worked like this.”
The Glacce straw screws into two pieces, which makes it easier not only for cleaning, but for drinking from a cocktail glass or even sharing with a straw-less companion. Leslie also notes that the crystal can be removed from the straw and worn on a chain as jewellery. “The straws make a perfect bar tool,” she says. “I think it’s a really nice thing to have at your house, also as a decorative piece.”
In our era of minimalism, itemised wishlists, and people who seem to “have it all” in every sense of the phrase, gifting has become increasingly fraught. What do you get for someone that’s both useful and beautiful and isn’t a scented candle? The best answer just may be a reusable straw.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
It's a mixed-up world we're living in, but there are some things that just go together: wine and cheese. Chrissy Teigen and Twitter. Beyoncé and Netflix. Lately, there's been another natural pairing we can't get enough of: makeup primers and serious skin-care benefits. Yes, there is a way to get longer-lasting foundation and treat your dark spots with just one product — it's a match made in heaven.
Thanks to some of our favourite beauty brands, there are more skin care-primer hybrids on the market than ever, catering to a wide range of complexion needs and concerns. Whether you're dealing with dullness, dry skin, or breakouts, there's a formula for you — and we've rounded up the very best options, ahead.
Refinery29's selection is purely editorial and independently chosen – we only feature items we love! As part of our business model we do work with affiliates; if you directly purchase something from a link on this article, we may earn a small amount of commission. Transparency is important to us at Refinery29, if you have any questionsplease reach out to us.
Primer, moisturiser, and SPF 50 in one fell swoop, so you don't have to worry about sun protection, dryness, or your makeup sliding off — that sounds like a good skin day to us.
NARS Smooth & Protect Primer SPF 50, $29, available at NARS
This oil-free primer doesn't just blur the appearance of pores and lend skin a matte finish all day long — it also controls breakouts with a dose of salicylic acid.
First Aid Beauty Coconut Skin Smoothie Priming Moisturizer 50ml, $20.5, available at FeelUnique
Inspired by the brand's cult-favourite Banana Bright Eye Crème, this new primer similarly brightens up the skin for a dewy, all-over radiance. Smooth it on alone for a subtle your-skin-but-better glow or under makeup for extended wear.
Ole Henriksen Banana Bright™ Face Primer, $28, available at Boots
Launching this weekend, this primer makes use of the same brightening and nourishing ingredients that made the Skin Love foundation a bestseller. With this new extension of the line, you get the same skin-care benefits and the perfect base for coverage with a blurring blend that smooths out the skin.
Becca Skin Love Brighten & Blur Primer, $28, available at Cult Beauty
If your foundation tends to settle into fine lines, this serum primer is for you. It creates a dewy, hydrating base that ensures your foundation goes on smooth and lasts longer — and leaves a natural glow behind.
Beautyblender Opal Essence Serum Primer, $28.5, available at Cult Beauty
This classic go-to is the topical equivalent of Lucozade the morning after a night of tequila shots. Perfect for when you need an instant (and urgent) fix, this longtime favourite treats skin with coconut water, probiotics, and other proven skin revivers, as well as creating a smooth base for whatever you need to cover up. It's just what the doctor ordered.
Too Faced Hangover Primer, $27, available at Cult Beauty
Our dreams of owning an Instagram filter in a tube have come true with this primer, which blurs away imperfections instantly and brightens and firms skin over time.
Pur Minerals 4-in-1 Tinted Moisturizer Broad Spectrum SPF 20, $25, available at Pur Minerals
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
If you’re trying to conceive, you may want to learn the facts about how fertility actually works. Or you may want to hear from people who now have children — through giving birth, surrogacy, or adoption — after struggling with infertility. Whatever you’re looking for, there’s a podcast for that, and reviewers say that listening to them makes them feel more informed and less alone. For National Infertility Awareness Week, we’ve found some of the best fertility podcasts out there.
The Fertility Warriors Podcast
Host: Robyn Birkin, fertility coach
About: “An IVF and miscarriage veteran herself, [Robyn Birkin] shares stories, wisdom, advice, tips and supporting words through the podcast to help women navigate the murky waters of trying (and sometimes for much longer than we hope!) to conceive.”
They’re saying: “This podcast is just what I needed while going through fertility treatment. It’s so great to feel like I’m not alone.” - Petey the dragon
The Fertility Podcast
Host: Natalie Silverman, radio presenter and voice actor
About: “If you’ve found your route to parenthood hasn’t been straightforward, this podcast is for you. From IVF and ICSI to secondary infertility, surrogacy, or adoption, hear stories from others who have been through something similar to you.”
They’re saying: “Infertility is such a hard thing to talk about, and can feel so lonely at times. It is amazing to hear stories from women on all different subjects of fertility and be reminded that there are so many out there feeling the same way you are, and there is support for whatever you are dealing with.” - LaurLars
Creating A Family: Talk About Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Host: Dawn Davenport, executive director of the nonprofit Creating A Family
About: “We interview leading experts on infertility, adoption, and foster care each week to bring you unbiased, accurate information.”
They’re saying: “As someone who is working through infertility treatments and considering adoption/foster care in the future, I find this podcast very informative. There is a wide range of topics covered and many knowledgeable guests.” - AllisonC2019
Let’s Talk Fertility With Izzy Judd
Host: Izzy Judd, author and violinist
About: “By exploring other people’s paths to parenthood and talking to holistic and medical experts, Izzy hopes her podcast will give listeners a fully informed and emotionally supportive space, as well as an introduction to a community whose support she has found to be invaluable.”
They’re saying: “This podcast has given me some peace and also insight into the bigger ‘wellness’ picture.” - wm1786
Big Fat Negative
Hosted by: Journalists Emma Forsyth Haslett and Gabriella Griffith
About: “This show follows [Haslett's and Griffith's] stories on the not-so-simple journey to motherhood, while also interviewing a range of experts on all things infertility.”
They’re saying: “So helpful to hear honest, raw and authentic discussions about infertility and the struggle of trying to conceive. As a member of the TTC community this show is so enlightening, answering many questions my curious mind has had and also provides comfort and validation for the heartache and confusion.” - Kelly_22
Fertility Talk With Reproductive Science Center of New Jersey
Hosts: Fertility experts Dr. William Ziegler, Dr. Jessica Mann, and Dr. Alan Martinez
About: “Listen to the latest informational podcasts from RSC New Jersey fertility experts.”
They’re saying:No reviews yet, but we like how science-focused this podcast is.
Infertile Mafia
Hosts: Podcasters Sarah Bruna & Kaela McDougall
About: “Infertility sucks! But, not as much when you have a friend you can talk to about eggs and balls and stuff. This is where you go when it feels like everyone has babies, except you.”
They’re saying: I was always terrified of the word ‘infertility.’ We started going to a FERTILITY clinic to deal with our FERTILITY challenges and I refused to accept that INFERTILITY was something we were dealing with. This podcast helped me own the word and gave me power in knowing that I wasn’t alone.” - Kawena O.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
There are handwritten mathematical formulas all over the blackboard-style wall in Scott Harrison’s office. There are old records on the floor and children’s toys in the corner. But the most interesting thing about Harrison’s place of work is the abundance of industrial, plastic, yellow gas cans scattered around. Harrison — the founder of Charity Water, a non-profit that provides drinking water to people in developing nations, in part by raising money to dig wells — explains that these are called Jerry Cans. People who don’t have access to water in developing nations use them to haul and store their drinking water. They weigh about 40 pounds when they’re full.
Meanwhile, there are women and girls who spend up to eight hours a day walking to a water source to bring clean water to their families. Harrison explains that in nations like Mozambique, it’s primarily up to the women to provide water. At its core, the world water crisis is a women’s issue, he says.
“Time spent collecting water is time away from school and other activities that can help empower a community, particularly for young women and girls,” Harrison says. “The effect on education is notable – without access to clean water, one in four girls don’t complete primary school (compared to one in seven boys)... Water is so much more than just something to drink. Providing people with access to clean water is also a gateway to getting an education, growing income and improving health — especially for women and kids.”
Photo: Courtesy of Molly Longman.
This may make the water problem seem eons away, but it’s also in our backyard. Just look at the water crisis in Flint, MI. San Juana "Juani" Olivares — who was affected by the Flint water crisis and is the president and CEO of the Genesee County Hispanic Latino Collaborative - La Placita — says she’s “traumatised” when it comes to drinking water from a questionable sources.
“When I see people who don’t finish bottled water it breaks my heart,” Olivares says. “Water has become so precious now — it’s almost like our gold in Flint.”
The health issues that water problems have caused — in Flint and abroad — are dire. But not getting enough fresh water in general can have its own repercussions, too.“Water is important for your health and wellness for a multitude of reasons,” says Tessa Nguyen, RD, LDN, and the founder of Taste Nutrition Consulting. “Over 50 percent of our bodies are made up of fluid, which means it’s vital to consume enough water and fluids to keep us alive, functioning, and well. Drinking enough water also ensures our kidneys and livers can do their jobs in naturally ‘detoxing’ our bodies by filtering out waste products.”
Basically, water is important no matter who you are, where you live, and what your level of privilege and access is. The luckiest of us appreciate water for the little things it does. I asked Harrison: Is just appreciating water for the little things it does — like improving our skin or mile-time — small-minded? Is it selfish to think about these benefits when there are people who have to walk for hours for clean water?
“It definitely is not small minded to appreciate those things, in fact it’s the opposite!” Harrison said. “There’s a story I love to tell about a woman we met named Helen in northern Uganda. Like the other women in her community, Helen spent most of her day walking and waiting for her turn to collect water.” But once she had the water, she had to answer some tough questions: “How should I use this water today? Should I water my garden so we can grow food? Should I wash my children’s school uniforms? Should I use it to cook a meal? Should we drink this water?”
"With two children, one husband, and 10 gallons, she felt she never had enough and was always worried about prioritising her rations correctly," Harrison says. "Often, the school uniforms didn’t get cleaned." But when Helen’s community got clean water for the first time after a well was put in, she no longer had to make those kinds of hard choices — she could even use it for herself. "Now I am beautiful," Helen said, according to Harrison.
“We were struck by that comment – and were reminded of how transformational water can be in both big and small ways,” he said. “It’s not just about health and sanitation, but about restoring someone’s dignity and making them feel beautiful for the first time.”
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Warning: This recap contains major spoilers for Episode 2 of the final season of Game of Thrones, "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms."
Last week’s season 8 premiere of Game of Thrones, titled “Winterfell,” set the mood: Shit’s going down, and everybody holding onto petty grudges needs to get with the program and start thinking about the horde of invading White Walkers. So no, Cersei, you don’t get elephants. And sorry Daenerys, no one in the North is down to pal around with a dragon lady. Jon? You are officially Top Targaryen. But that won’t matter very much if the Night King comes to steal your crown. No one wants a dead popsicle monarch — even if he does have perfect curls.
The only mortal drama I have time to care about is the fact that Arya and Gendry just totally had hot sex!! In an episode full of extended reunions, this is one I can root for!
Episode 2, "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms," shows Winterfell preparing for war — there’s even a Jon-narrated getting-ready-for-battle montage that’s straight out of Lord of the Rings. But don’t let all that armour clanking fool you. The episode is rife with… more personal drama. Look, I get it. A lot of these people are presumably going to die next week, and we all love an unlikely conversation pairing — but am I the only one who felt like this had the vibe of a bad Cheers spinoff? Winterfell! The place where everybody knows your name because they’ve probably fought against you at some point in this long saga.
Still, there were some highlights, starting with the (kind of) trial of Jaime Lannister, who arrived at Winterfell in the final moments of the premiere. For a second, it looks as if Daenerys and Sansa ’s (who somehow found time to nail her eyeliner — wow, girl) hatred for him might be his downfall. (This episode shows them trying to find common ground, even if they’re not quite there yet.) Tyrion, on his second major fuckup (he foolishly believed Cersei when she said she was sending troops), tries to speak up for him and fails. But it’s Brienne who saves the day, convincing Sansa that Jaime is in fact honourable and wants to do the right thing. This is pretty much the highest compliment Jaime can receive, and probably explains why he spends the rest of the episode acting majorly weird around Brienne. (That jump up when she enters the room — who are you?)
The interesting fallout of this incident is that it puts Daenerys’ volatile dictator-like tendencies on full-display. Displeased with the outcome and Sansa’s lack of respect, she threatens to replace Tyrion as hand, until Jorah talks her out of it. He also suggests she might want to put the only other powerful woman in Winterfell in her corner. But sadly, Daenerys isn’t that skilled a negotiator. I appreciate Game of Thrones acknowledging all that these women have in common, even as it continues to put them at odds. Dany and Sansa's real-talk conversation feels less like a catfight and more like a battle of wits between two women at the height of their individual fields, who can’t agree on a common outcome. Which, really, is something we see men fight over all the time.
But rivalry aside, their conversation is one of most interesting of the episode, mostly because it addresses the great unsaid subtext of the battle ahead: What comes next? Sansa and Daenerys are allies of convenience, happy to set aside their differences while the dead are coming. But what about after? When Daenerys has taken up her crown and wants to use the North as a vassal state. Sansa’s not content with leaving that up in the air. (Personally, I would like a one-way ticket to Greyworm and Missandei ’s beach vacation.) It’s an issue that comes up during Jaime’s conversation with Bran in the godswood, as well. For all their talk of dying tomorrow, everyone is still convinced that the realms of men will outlast this fight. But what if they don’t?
Speaking of the Night King, it looks like there’s finally a plan to deal with him, courtesy of Bran The Three-Eyed Raven. (Coincidentally, it’s funny how everyone is just on board with him being that now. He’s the socially awkward cousin who says strange things and everyone is like, ‘Yeah okay,’ and moves on.) Since killing a White Walker means death to all the wights he created, Jon has a brainwave that someone should probably kill the Night King. Bran volunteers to act as bait, seeing as the Night King is coming for him anyway. And Theon, who has come to fight for Winterfell (an admission that made Sansa far too weepy — please, Game of Thrones, don’t make them fall in love), promises to guard him in an attempt to redeem himself for his treatment of the Starks all those years ago.
That heartwarming sentiment is a perfect lead-in to talk about all these reunions. So many! Arya and the Hound; Arya and Beric Dondarrion; Jaime, Brienne and Tormund; Jorah and Lyanna Mormont (whose scathing "we're done here" made me cheer out loud); Sam, Jon and Dolorous Edd; Pod and Tyrion; Tyrion and Jaime; Jaime and Bran (who repeats the infamous “the things I do for love” back to him in the most hilariously deadpan way).
And if this all feels like we’re still hashing out the drama from last week, well that’s because we are. I lost track of the amount of times someone (mainly Tyrion) started a sentence with “Remember when?” Like yes, we get it. It’s the final season. It’s insane that you are all fighting together. It's obviously amusing to see everyone interact. But to keep repeating it over and over feels like a cheap play on nostalgia rather than something that’s actually moving the story forward. The one big emotional payoff was Jaime knighting Brienne, a moment that denotes a much more powerful connection between the two that Tormund and his jokes can ever hope to achieve. (But man was it delightful to watch him clap for her — an ally!)
Still, it’s all fun. In fact, between Sam, Edd and Jon’s Night’s Watch virginity jokes, Daenerys making fun of Jon’s height, and Tormund’s insane giant story, this episode definitely appeared to be playing up levity, knowing full well that next week will probably find us weeping. And so, while it did feel like a 58-minute bottleneck set-up, I’m sure it’s one we’ll probably be rewatching to soothe our pain after next week’s big battle.
And it looks like that’s a pretty done deal. The episode ends with Jon choosing the worst possible time to confess his true identity to Daenerys, ending his tale just as the horn blows. The White Walkers are here — and the the expression on Tyrion’s face as he stares out from the ramparts seems a pretty good sign that a lot of the people we had fun mocking this week may not survive the day.
And now — you didn’t think we were going to end this without talking about Arya and Gendry, now did you? I just want it on the record that I have been talking about this pairing non-stop for the last two years, and I feel vindicated!!!
Their hookup was clearly signalled from the very beginning of the season, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe that it would actually happen. But man, from that early hiss of his dragonglass hitting water as she stared at him from the shadows, I lost the ability to speak coherently. And the event itself was just perfect. She remained Arya, in control, asking for what she wanted. And he, well, was Gendry: hot, kind of dumbstruck, and ready to take his pants off at the request of a domineering lady.
So, tune in next week, as we watch a lot of men wield heavy swords even as Arya, that little girl with greyscale, and Lyanna Mormont obviously steal the day. Women get shit done!
PS — Pod's beautiful singing voice! What a delight he continues to be.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old climate change activist behind the global school climate strikes movement and Nobel Peace Prize nominee, is in the UK – and her visit has turned many of the country's most serious-faced politicians into excitable stans. This is despite her dishing out some harsh truths about the country's stance on climate change.
The Swedish student, who is spending her Easter break taking her message around Europe, gave up flying in 2015 and instead spent two days travelling to the UK by train. On Tuesday morning she met politicians from several parties and addressed MPs directly in a speech in Parliament just after lunchtime. Thunberg's verdict on the country's current stance on climate change was scathing – but that didn't stop MPs from flooding social media with adulatory content (including selfies) of her.
Politicians including Green MP Caroline Lucas, Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, and Labour MPs Ed Miliband and Diane Abbott (still fresh from her tinned mojito Tube controversy last week), enthusiastically posted about the world-famous activist's visit. While Theresa May was noticeably absent from the cross-party roundtable meeting with the teenager at the House of Commons.
It was a pleasure welcoming UK youth climate strikers and @GretaThunberg to parliament. Young people will be the most affected by climate change - seeing them take charge of their future is inspiring. Labour's committed to working with young people campaigning to save our planet. pic.twitter.com/mBtQZqPUuv
What a privilege and a wake-up call to hear from @GretaThunberg today in Parliament.
'We children have not given up our education and childhood for you to tell us what is politically acceptable in the society you have created' pic.twitter.com/hsvohijVMe
I welcome @GretaThunberg to Parliament & applaud her campaigning to raise awareness about the urgency to tackle climate change. I won't be able to hear her speak as I will be chairing the @CommonsSTC, appropriately on the technologies required for clean growth! #ClimateEmergencypic.twitter.com/4PMsinpG9m
In her speech to MPs (available to read in full on the Guardian), Thunberg criticised politicians the world over for giving young people false optimism about the future, before singling out the UK. "You lied to us. You gave us false hope. You told us that the future was something to look forward to. And the saddest thing is that most children are not even aware of the fate that awaits us," she said. "We will not understand it until it’s too late. And yet we are the lucky ones. Those who will be affected the hardest are already suffering the consequences. But their voices are not heard."
She went on to condemn the UK for its role in bolstering the fossil fuel industry, despite its reputation as a world-leader in the fight against climate change. “The UK’s active current support of new exploitation of fossil fuels – for example the UK shale gas fracking industry, the expansion of its North Sea oil and gas fields, the expansion of airports, as well as the planning permission for a brand new coal mine – is beyond absurd,” Thunberg proclaimed. "This ongoing irresponsible behaviour will no doubt be remembered in history as one of the greatest failures of humankind."
Thunberg also condemned the UK's "mind-blowing historical carbon debt" and "its current, very creative, carbon accounting," from not including emissions from imported goods in headline figures, as the Guardian reported. "Since 1990 the UK has achieved a 37% reduction of its territorial CO2 emissions, according to the Global Carbon Project. And that does sound very impressive," Thunberg said, with all the confidence of a well-researched politician.
"But these numbers do not include emissions from aviation, shipping and those associated with imports and exports. If these numbers are included the reduction is around 10% since 1990 – or an average of 0.4% a year, according to Tyndall Manchester."
We have not taken to the streets for you to take selfies with us, and tell us that you really admire what we do.
Thunberg went on to blast politicians as self-serving – but not even that quelled her popularity amongst many MPs. “You don’t listen to the science because you are only interested in solutions that will enable you to carry on like before.”
Amusingly, she even made a dig at adults for not taking her global climate strike movement seriously, and for using young activists as social media fodder. "We have not taken to the streets for you to take selfies with us, and tell us that you really admire what we do.
"We children are doing this to wake the adults up. We children are doing this for you to put your differences aside and start acting as you would in a crisis. We children are doing this because we want our hopes and dreams back," she concluded.
On Sunday, Thunberg addressed London's Extinction Rebellion protest in Marble Arch as it continues into its second week in London, praising the group's non-violent activism. On Tuesday morning, she called on politicians to pay attention to the science behind climate change. "Listen to the science, listen to the scientists. Invite them to talk," Thunberg told BBC Radio 4's Today programme on Tuesday morning. "I am just speaking on behalf of them, I'm trying to say what they've been saying for decades."
When asked what she'd say to Donald Trump if give the chance, Thunberg said she wasn't optimistic that she'd have any impact over the US' environmental policy (in 2017, the US president pulled the country out of the 2015 Paris agreement on tackling climate change). "I can't really say anything to him that he hasn't heard before," Thunberg admitted. "Obviously he's not listening to the science and to what we have to say so I wouldn't be able to change his mind."
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
In the Netflix show Chambers, out April 26, there's something wrong with 17-year-old Sasha's (Sivan Alyse Rose) heart. We're not speaking metaphorically, here — Sasha's a kind person. But after she gets a heart transplant, the new organ retains a bit too much of its past owner. It retains memories, personality.
Becky Lefevre (Lilliya Scarlett Reid), the former owner of the heart, haunts the characters of Chambers. After Sasha becomes involved with the Lefevre family and their world of privilege and darkness, she also gets closer to understanding Becky.
Chambers encapsulates an exciting byproduct of the endless cavalcade of Netflix series. Lately, the streaming service has managed to wed high-profile talent, Uma Thurman, with rising stars like Rose, Reid, and the show's other break-out young stars — Kyanna Simone Simpson, Griffin Powell-Arcand, Nicholas Galitzine, and Lilli Kay.
Here's who you'll need to know while watching.
Sivan Alyra Rose
Who She Plays: Sasha Yazzie, the high schooler who has a heart attack at the beginning of Chambers and receives Becky Le Fevre's heart — which may be haunted. Sasha was raised by her uncle, Big Frank. Like many of the other characters in the show, she's of Navajo descent.
Where You've Seen Her: Like her character, Rose is from Arizona and is of Native American descent. Chambers is her breakout role.
Kyanna Simone Simpson
Who She Plays: Yvonne, Sasha's best friend. She's struggling to take care of her mom, who has early onset dementia.
Who He Plays: Big Frank Yazzie, Sasha's uncle. Poor, sweet Big Frank and his luscious ponytail. He just wants the best for his niece.
Where You've Seen Him: LaVoi's Instagram account is Chambers -central. He took a sideways route to becoming an actor. While working as a security guard on sets, he was asked to stand in as a background actor. From there, he got roles in soaps like The Young and the Restless and action movies like Den of Thieves.
Griffin Powell-Arcand
Who He Plays: TJ Locklear, a downright dreamy high school love interest. He's devoted to his girlfriend, Sasha.
Where You've Seen Him: Aside from stints on Canadian TV shows and Little House on the Prairie, Chambers is his first role.
Tony Goldwyn
Who He Plays: Ben Lefevre — or as we like to call him, "Crystal Zaddy." In the wake of his daughter Becky's death, Ben retreats even more into his "wellness group" (read: cult).
Who She Plays: Nancy Lefevre, Becky's grieving mom.
Where You've Seen Her:Uma Thurman is a legend. Once, she set out to kill Bill. We hardly have time to go over her entire IMDb page, but highlights include Kill Bill, Gattaca, Pulp Fiction, and Batman & Robin. She took a wonderful turn as Lenny the assassin on Imposters.
Lilliya Scarlett Reid
Who She Plays: Becky Lefevre, who in some ways is like Rebecca of the book Rebecca. She died, but her presence is felt in every scene. She haunts the characters, some more literally than others.
Where You've Seen Her: Becky in Chambers is Reid's first role.
Lilli Kay
Who She Plays: Penelope Fowler, the Lefevres' neighbour and Becky's former best friend.
Where You've Seen Her: Aside from one episode of The New Normal and the TV movie Paterno, Chambers is Kay's first major role.
Kristin Callahan/ACE Pictures/Shutterstock
Nicholas Galitzine
Who He Plays: Elliot Lefevre, Becky's troubled twin brother.
Where You've Seen Him: Galitzine and his cat-like eyes have appeared in a series of indie movies, including the more recent thrillers Share and The Watcher in the Woods.
Kristin Callahan/ACE Pictures/Shutterstock
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Festival season is officially upon us. As music lovers recover from Coachella, flock to Primavera, Glasto, and everything in between, there’s no doubt they’ll be enjoying performances from artists in the country’s most popular genre: hip hop and R&B. But what happens when black people try to enjoy the culture that they helped make mainstream? For black women, it can be a harrowing experience.
I remember the rage I felt the first time I heard a white woman rap along with French Montana using the N-Word. Or the time I almost got into a fight with another white woman at Coachella who was loudly saying the N-Word repeatedly. I felt anger. I felt betrayed. And I felt like I wasted my money. As it turns out, what felt like an incredibly isolating experience was one that I shared with other black women. Below, we share the stories of five black women who were surrounded by white people at a black artist’s concert.
I was at Beyoncé’s historic Coachella performance in 2018. It was my second time at the music festival. My dad went to North Carolina A&T, a historically black university. So immediately, I was familiar with the show’s inspiration. The performance felt intensely personal and empowering for me, but it was disheartening to see how many people didn’t know the Black National Anthem, or how to swag surf. I felt like there were two shows happening: one for the people who understood the symbolism, and one for those who were just there to observe. Beyoncé created a safe space for me, and I felt like the crowd was invading it. It was in that moment that I realised so many people have no idea what black people experience daily.
When I was leaving the show, I almost got in a fight with a white woman who refused to move out of my way after I said excuse me. Since she wouldn’t move, I politely stepped around her and she shoved me in the back. There was a defiance to it. It triggered me because it represented everything I experience as a black woman on a daily basis. I was just not having it. — Amber Kai, Casting Director in Los Angeles
I feel invisible
I live in the San Fran area and when I go to concerts here, it’s almost as if I’m invisible.
When I found out Miguel was performing on New Year’s Eve 2018, my boyfriend (who is half Vietnamese, half white) and I got tickets. The day of the show, Fort Mason, a huge venue out on the San Francisco Bay, was packed. I was expecting to see a few more black people at the show, despite the gentrification in the Bay Area. But most of the people at the concert were not black.
Once the opening acts took the stage, everyone just let loose. It didn’t matter if they were saying the N-Word. They did not care. From what I could tell, I was the only black person around. And I felt almost as if I was validating their presence. It was really uncomfortable. I was tired of people acting like they didn’t see me. Stepping in front of me, on my feet. Shoving me; flipping their hair in my face; hitting me with a bag.
It just boggles my mind how even when you think you can let your guard down at a concert, you can’t. It’s sad that some white people have taken over black music and black culture, without respecting boundaries and personal space. — Amber Richele, Influencer in San Francisco
Struggling to stay present
I was at the Solange concert at Radio City Music Hall in 2017. And although there were more black people than white people in the audience, I felt like I couldn’t fully be in the moment. I constantly felt myself looking to see how the non-black people around me were reacting to certain lyrics. I had to remind myself to be fully immersed in the moment: a performance of an album [A Seat At the Table] created for black women. However, I still felt overly aware of whiteness in the space.
At one point during the show, I told myself to be present. I paid a lot of money for these tickets, and so did everyone else. It was just a reminder of the lack of opportunities black women have to fully take up space. — Diana C, HR Associate in New York City
Rae Sremmurd dropped SremmLife 2 in 2016, and I had tickets to the concert at Playstation Theater in Times Square. The concert was general admission, and unfortunately, my friend and I got there late. By the time we finally made our way inside and as close to the stage as we could, we missed the first three openers. People were getting more intoxicated, and doing more drugs, and I could feel things becoming more contentious, especially because it was standing room only.
Suddenly, I felt someone grabbing my hair repeatedly. At first, I ignored it, thinking maybe she was dancing in a tight space. But then it became clear that she was doing it on purpose. I was wearing a blonde wig, and it was starting to lift. In a strange effort to diffuse the situation, the white man she was with started yelling at me. A security guard came over, and thank God she was a black woman. She stopped the confrontation. But if she weren’t black, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have gotten escorted out.
I hate that now when I attend concerts, I make sure that everything on my body is secured. — Raven B, Associate Social Media Editor in New York City
Are you laughing at us, or with us?
Dave Chappelle did a series of concerts and comedy shows with musicians a few years ago. So I went to one with my friend from graduate school, who is white. I was sitting down while my friend went to get a glass of wine, and when he came back the white people on the other side moved over. It was such a small stupid thing, but the assumption that this person wouldn’t be with me, even though there was an empty seat next to me, was bothersome. And that was very early in the concert.
As the show started, I just remember [my white friend] laughing loudly and enthusiastically about some of the jokes. And I remember feeling like are you laughing with us or at us? I automatically thought you must be laughing at us, because you don’t have this specific experience. And I thought to myself I don’t know why I decided to come to this concert with you. I just let it go, because it didn’t feel like it was worth talking about. There was a part of me that didn’t want to know what he was laughing at. I was like man, this is a good concert. So I just left it alone.
I think that’s just the black experience in America, right? It’s a constant internal conversation with yourself: I deserve to be here. I’m not going to let this nonsense ruin my time, ruin my mood, ruin my self esteem. It’s automatic, but it’s exhausting. — Patia B, Health Editor in New York City.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
All the best reality shows have featured at least one episode where the cast members stay in an overwater bungalow while on a luxurious vacation. We've seen it on more than one of the Real Housewives franchises and several seasons of The Bachelor, yet the idea of sleeping inside a little cottage that hovers right above the ocean still seems like peak summer holiday goals.
Though overwater bungalows in top tropical destinations like Bora Bora, Tahiti, and Panama are tried-and-true favourites among reality stars, staying in one isn't necessarily out of reach for those of us who don't have TV networks comping our travel expenses. There are actually plenty of overwater bungalows available on Airbnb right now.
Ahead, you'll find 12 overwater bungalows listed on Airbnb that range in price and location. Some are splurges located in dream vacation spots like Belize while others are more affordable and located just across the Pond, in California and New Hampshire. Peruse all the options ahead and then bring this staple of reality TV vacations into your very own spring break.
At Refinery29, we're here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
"The overwater cabana features glass floor openings in every room. A full-length patio deck equipped with a private plunge pool, swings, and hammocks. A full kitchen and living room combo with views of beautiful ocean."
Location: San Pedro , Belize Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £220
"Bungalow N°3 is a unique overwater bungalow with an open flow living room and kitchen design leaving you with unobstructed 180° panoramic views of Bora Bora's famous lagoon. It's no wonder that this luxurious bungalow was once owned by Hollywood's own Jack Nicholson. You will find paradise relaxing on the terrace, enjoying cool ocean breezes, swimming in the lagoon, watching the setting sun or enjoying the nightly animation of fish swimming around the underwater lights."
Location: Bora Bora , Leeward Islands, French Polynesia Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £330
"The most beautiful private over water on the island! You are just minutes to wonderful restaurants, boutiques, supermarkets, and beaches. You'll love the peaceful, true Polynesian life, quiet and unhurried. It is paradise. The Black Pearl truly is one-of-a-kind. You will love the outdoor space, the comfy bed, the light, the kitchen, and the lagoon.. This bungalow is for couples only."
Location: Bora Bora , Leeward Islands, French Polynesia Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £363
"One of our two overwater bungalows at the edge of Old Bank town on Isla Bastimentos with a collapsible 12 x 8-foot front wall, 180-degree ocean views from the bed and giant over water deck with overwater hammock. The bungalow features a king size bed and twin daybed with luxury linens, a spacious hot water shower, handmade local toiletries, and a mini-fridge. Gourmet breakfast at our restaurant next door is included."
Location: Bastimento, Bocas del Toro, Panama Sleeps: 4 Price Per Night: £101
"This IS the Real thing! We are DIRECTLY ON THE BEACH. Why settle for a view of the beach, when you can have the entire ocean at your feet?! Malibu's best kept secret 'Malibu Road' Homes of the Stars! Located on most-desired, secluded beach Heart of Malibu."
Location: Malibu, California Sleeps: 4 Price Per Night: £265
"Treat yourself to a dream holiday in this bungalow and enjoy the whole family! This 2-bedroom bungalow is ideal for two couples. An extra bed is also available for a fifth person! Featuring air conditioning, this large, water-front bungalow offers beautiful lagoon views. It also has a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a private platform for swimming at the foot of the bungalow."
Location: Paopao, Windward Islands, French Polynesia Sleeps: 5 Price Per Night: £150
"We will be happy to receive you in Vairao, in a wonderful small and quiet village at 8 km from Teahupoo, next to a beautiful white sand beach. Facing the lagoon, water sports lovers will be happy : surf (5 surf spot), whales excursions, diving, snorkelling, kayak, va'a (Polynesian pirogue), and aqua-bike. At the centre of Taxi-boat "tahitiititourandsurf", you will be able to enjoy the different excursions that we offer. Come and discover this little spot of paradise."
Location: Vairao, French Polynesia Sleeps: 6 Price Per Night: £120
"New Private Island Rental- 2 Bed, 2 Bath, Sleeps 4 comfortable and 5 with 1 guest sleeping on family room futon. Thatch roof overwater bungalow with mahogany and granite throughout. Private blue lagoon with LED lighting. Warm tropical breezes and 360-degree views of the Caribbean and Mayan Mountains. World class snorkelling just minutes from the second largest barrier reef. Guests have the entire island to themselves. Fee includes three meals daily, beverages, personal concierge, private chef, and two caretakers."
Location: Hopkins , Stann Creek District, Belize Sleeps: 4 Price Per Night: £738
"We have two ecological bungalows with panoramic views of the Pearl Lagoon, next to a newly-built hotel. We also organise tours to the Pearl Cays, the indigenous and afro-descendant communities nearby, as well as other destinations, and free use of kayaks for sunset picnics in the lagoon. We try to offer our guests a true Pearl Lagoon experience!"
Location: Laguna de Perlas , Nicaragua Sleeps: 8 Price Per Night: £23
"Strategically placed to catch the sunset, this quaint waterfront cabin is designed for ultimate relaxation. Dominated by a king sized bed, with screened french doors onto your own lagoon patio. Perfect for sun bathing, sunset gazing and when night falls, strong bioluminescent waters makes this cabin seem like its out of a fairy tale. Unique screened walls to welcome in the ocean breeze. A wonderful coral reef lines the whole property for world-class snorkelling, kayak, or SUP expeditions!"
Location: Cristóbal Island, Bocas del Toro Province, Panama Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £62
"My place is close to the beach, family-friendly activities, and the airport. You'll love my place because of the ambiance, the neighbourhood, the outdoor space, the light, and the comfy bed. The villas are good for couples, solo adventurers, business travellers, and big groups."
Location: Savaneta, Aruba Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £264
"• *Overwater* Bungalow (cottage) with 180-degree Lake Sunapee and Mountain Views • Private, attached boathouse for your boat • Kayak/paddle board from your wrap-around dock outside of your living room • Hotel quality mattresses and super-soft, pima cotton sheets • "Boathouse-Modern" Decor. Ultra-clean with a ton of sunlight • Cozy-up in front of the wood-stove on the Leather Article Sofa • 10-mile lake views from the reading swing • Chef's kitchen for family meals • Snack and hot chocolate station"
Location: Newbury, New Hampshire Sleeps: 6 Price Per Night: £90
"Our cool and comfortable double occupancy over the water bungalow welcomes you to paradise. Enjoy the leeward side of the island inside a coral reef, pristine white sand beaches, and jungle treks."
Location: Isla Bastimentos, Bocas del Toro, Panama Sleeps: 2 Price Per Night: £225
Photo: Courtesy of Airbnb.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Recently, you might have spotted a beautiful young woman with a shiny new car on Instagram. Somewhere in the caption she may have referenced the company that she claims has made her glam new life possible. Perhaps a friend of a friend on Facebook has been tagging you in vague status updates, asking users to comment what they’d do with an extra £500 per month. Maybe you’ve even been directly offered the opportunity to work from home, with the flexibility and financial freedom you’ve always dreamed of. All you’ve got to do is sell beauty products online and, boom, you’re living the dream that no other avenue of work could provide.
It all sounds ideal, but just how legit are the opportunities being offered? The online selling industry is booming across the world. It’s valued at £2 billion in the UK, with hundreds of thousands of people in the signed up here alone. But a new BBC Three documentary Secrets of the Multi-Level Millionaires has lifted the lid on the darker side to this multi-billion-pound industry that mainly targets young women.
Multi-level marketing (MLM), also known as 'network marketing' or 'direct selling', is essentially the sale of products via individual distributors. Many MLM companies focus on beauty, health and wellness. They ask new recruits to sign up online, go through some form of training, order products to sell and, in theory, make money from the commission of each sale. But there’s another avenue of income within the structure which has been an increasing cause of concern – recruitment.
Because the more sellers you recruit, the more money can be made up the chain. For example, you could earn a cut from whoever you bring into the business, as will the person who recruited you, and the person who recruited them, and so on. Getting as many other sellers involved then is just as important as making your own sales. In the documentary we learn about accusations of pyramid selling, brainwashing and the systematic targeting of vulnerable people to keep these recruitment chains building. And though the network marketing companies featured in the doc give statements on how their sellers are contractually obliged to follow strict codes of conduct in this regard, an anti-MLM movement is growing online.
For Secrets of theMulti-Level Millionaires, journalist Ellie Flynn went undercover and signed herself up to two online beauty selling companies – Younique and NuSkin. Both have tapped into the social media market with the latter being worth a reported £4 billion - according to the film. But what Ellie finds as she digs deeper into the world of MLM, is that many of the sellers don’t see nearly as much money as they’re teased with at recruitment stage.
The film features Vickie, a young mum who spent six months following the NuSkin training only to make £20. Then there's Lindsay who hoped selling for Younique would help cover her medical bills while she was unable to find full-time work but three years after joining she’s now in £3000 of debt. It’s a familiar story for hundreds of women, many of whom were too afraid to speak out about the downsides of the business for fear of a backlash within the online selling communities.
Courtesy of BBC
Many of the women featured in the film found that their money was being drained rather than earned after signing up to sell - sometimes for a fee - and they say they felt pressured to spend a minimum amount of money on these typically expensive products themselves, despite struggling to sell them. In one of the training leaflets Ellie was provided with, she was advised to swap all of her existing cosmetics for the NuSkin ones, which would have cost her £562.31 before having sold a single thing on to anyone else.
The film shows what an easy, and attractive, web MLM is to get stuck into, though. When these young women are struggling to see any success themselves, they’ve got the persistent reminder from the (very) small percent of sellers that it has worked for. Sellers are sold the idea that all it takes is a little hard work and if they’re not doing well enough, they’re just not putting enough time in. They’re told the key to doing well is working hard and being positive – so much so that some former sellers in the film report being told to cut themselves off from friends and family who didn’t feel as positive about their new career path as them.
Though there’s a big focus on sellers adopting a can-do, positive and uplifting attitude in their work, the mode of bringing other people on board feels sinister. At an MLM convention, an audience of 2000 women is told by one male speaker that: “Network marketing is the best thing you can do for your children.” While undercover at a training day, Ellie and other new sellers are encouraged to find people’s weak points to entice and recruit them into the company. A black-status seller (someone who has worked their way up and has managed to build a big network of sellers below them) advises the audience to look for specific signs of struggle. “If someone has said they want to buy a new coat, but they don’t have enough money, that’s a weak point,” she says. “Or if someone’s talking about them not having enough time to spend with their children, that’s like ‘oh I can give you more time because I can give you this business opportunity.’”
But it’s not as straightforward as that. Though the MLM industry is supported by fierce believers, according to the film a dramatically small percentage of those who sign up (three quarters of whom are women) see anywhere near the amount of money that is suggested and instead find themselves in debt. The documentary highlights the lack of awareness around becoming involved, the true earning potential of eager new sellers and the potential risks in the seemingly minimal regulation these companies operate under. The backbone of the business, the documentary shows, isn’t as clear to the young women invited to join as it should be. Tales of more time at home, short working hours and six-figure salaries are marred by a reality that many found to have far less to do with selling beauty products than initially understood. It’s not until visiting another training day that Ellie realises the focus of what she’s signed up to. “RITA,” the MLM trainer says, “Recruiting Is The Answer”.
When the letter came through the post, its content was of no surprise to me. I’d experienced depression and anxiety several times at various points throughout my life, so when a psychotherapist wrote to me to discuss the next steps in treatment, it no longer felt as if I were being labelled 'crazy'. I'm not a modern day Sylvia Plath; I’d just go about my usual life, only now, when I cried spontaneously, I had a clearer reason why.
Everyone can experience low moods but for me, depression and anxiety can be almost debilitating. It’s the constant knotted stomach, waking up crying because I can’t get out of bed, or the nagging feeling of failure. It’s avoiding going outside because the colours seem overwhelmingly bright, feeling disproportionate amounts of anger or listening to my inner voice telling me I’m an idiot.
Prior to each episode up to this point, I’d ignored the early warning signs and left myself to slowly spiral. My mental health has forced me to quit jobs and end relationships when my partner at the time grew too exasperated at the thought that they couldn’t make me happy. I often felt like a broken doll that people tried and failed to fix. It’s only now, in my late 20s, that I’ve come to see that only I have the ability to fix my unhappiness.
What made accepting my mental health problems considerably harder as I navigated growing up was that I always had a direct comparison standing right next to me: my identical twin sister, Kirsty.
In many ways we were similar; we both had a crush on Peter Andre during his "Mysterious Girl" days and we both found it socially awkward to mix with other kids around the pool on family holidays. But when it came to our mental health, we couldn’t be more different. "I think we are like yin and yang," she told me. "I am more optimistic and idealistic, you’re more pessimistic and pragmatic."
Unlike with other siblings, it’s often more difficult for twins to create healthy, separate identities. From the get-go, people are fascinated by your ability to be so alike. When we were younger, we sometimes dressed in the same clothes; we were given shared presents on birthdays, and always asked whether we’d ever secretly swapped boyfriends (the answer is no, if you were wondering). When we were babies, we were so alike that on some old photographs, I honestly don’t know which twin I am.
The real intrigue for many, though, comes when the differences form. Twins can often become the antithesis of one another as they strive to carve out their own sense of self.
Kirsty had always assumed the role of the happy twin. Growing up she loved pink, chocolate and rom-coms, whereas I’d sway more towards black, vodka and toxic relationships with men. Kirsty was always more cheerful, more easily pleased. I, on the other hand, was the wayward sister brooding in the corner. These were our default characters and it felt as if we couldn’t defer from them in case it threatened our sense of individuality.
But if identical twins are supposed to be genetically so alike, why is it that only I suffer with poor mental health? According to Dr Joe Oliver, a consultant clinical psychologist , "where one twin doesn’t develop depression, it could be for a range of factors, including greater resilience to stress, better social networks or reduced contact with life pressures."
Depression and anxiety naturally became part of my everyday life but my moments of difficulty have been etched in my twin’s memory, too. "I remember standing outside a pub while you went in for a [job] interview because you were too anxious to go alone," she recalls. "And I remember getting a letter from you when I lived in Paris to tell me you felt down. You hadn’t spoken to me in weeks and then it was difficult because there was nothing I could do."
Times like these have always been part of our relationship. I was the twin who old creepy men would tell to smile on the street while I watched Kirsty live, laugh, love and dance like no one was watching. I used to feel as if my mental health issues only affected me, but they actually have the potential to affect her even more so because we are twins.
"Depression is multi-causal," explains Dr Oliver, "but the risks dramatically increase for a twin when the other twin becomes depressed (over 70% likelihood by some estimates)."
Over the years my depression had caused me to be so introspective that I’d selfishly assumed my low moods only impacted me.
"Sometimes it makes us closer and sometimes it can be a strain," Kirsty admits. "I don’t know if it is because we are twins but I feel more responsible for your suffering and I can almost take on some of your emotions, a bit like a shadow emotion."
Thankfully, Kirsty remains resilient against absorbing my emotional offcuts. I, however, will most likely experience waves of depression and anxiety for the rest of my adult life. That I must be the one to battle poor mental health, when my twin and I come as a genetic pair, will forever be a difficult pill to swallow.
But as the years have passed, I’ve begun to view my twin’s good mental health as an example of what to work towards, rather than a slap in the face from the universe. Comparing ourselves to those around us or those we scroll past on social media is something we could all stand to do less often. If my twin and I are anything to go by, then being the absolute equal to another doesn’t guarantee you’ll live an identical life. But if we are as equal as biology would claim, then I have the potential to live as content a life as she does. One day maybe I will.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Our unrelenting cries to bring back the barely there spaghetti strap have finally been acknowledged. A classic depiction of true '90s dressing (turn on an episode of Friends and try to count just how many is too many), the cult detail transcended through the era of velour tracksuits and fluffy kitten heels to once again revamp itself. A relatively simple silhouette, easily worn with, well, anything, it would almost be rude not to slot it into your wardrobe this summer.
Sporting straps so thin, you can barely spot them is the name of the game and boy, do we want in. Needless to say, there is a spaghetti strap dress/cami/jumpsuit shaped hole we’re more than thrilled to fill. No longer do we have to get our latest fix via a variety of sitcoms renowned as the poster child for '90s dressing on Netflix – simply ask and you shall receive.
A resurgence on the catwalk brought the sought-after form to the forefront of our minds once again, playing a large part in upping the credentials of minimal straps. Jacquemus, famed not only for his cult boxy handled bags (which get comically smaller each season), but also distinguished for his adoration of ultra-feminine dressing, delivered once again with his aptly named SS19 collection: La Riviera. His latest designs saw models clad in a plethora of asymmetric thin-strap dresses and punchy, sheer form-fitting minimal tops, oozing of sun-drenched filled weekend breaks. Big. Summer. Mood.
Filtering through to street style dressing, an array of celebrity regulars have showcased how best to fully embrace the trend. Evident fans of late nineties dressing, Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski have frequently been spotted flaunting the risqué fit paired with A-line denim skirts or studded biker boots. Opening up a landmine of gems, Instagram introduced us to modern brands like Reformation and Realisation Par, feeding our spaghetti strap fantasies – both recognised for their dainty camisoles and date-night appropriate dresses, with a dash of refreshingly witty humour on the side.
Whether satin, animal print or pastels take your fancy, revel in the spaghetti strap treasures you’ll be raving about at impromptu BBQs all summer long.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.
This week: "I was diagnosed with incurable stage four cancer last year and my only NHS-approved treatment option didn’t work. I’m on paid sick leave at the moment while I wait to find out whether I will be accepted onto a clinical trial for life-extending treatment. There’s a reasonable chance that I won’t make it to 2020. My finances took a huge hit when I was first diagnosed with cancer almost three years ago, and they’ve never really recovered. Right now I struggle to find a balance between splashing out on bucket list items and stress-relieving treats, and saving to make sure that I have enough money for when my sick leave runs out – or a miracle happens and I actually survive. Preserving my financial independence is also very important to me, although I know that someday I will have to rely on my husband more. Anyway, I'm feeling surprisingly well at the moment so I really want to make every day count!"
Industry: Publishing Age: 31 Location: Home counties Salary: £32,000 Paycheque amount: £1,860 plus approx. £570 in benefits Number of housemates: One (my husband, D)
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £1,315 (I split this with D, so I pay £658) Loan payments: £92 student loan Utilities: £150 maybe? I pay £940 per month into our joint account to cover rent, bills and our groceries, and don't really notice what goes where. Transportation: £40-60 for incidental trips but no more as I have a disabled person’s bus pass. We have a car but I’m not insured on it at the moment, so D covers the running costs by himself. My blue badge means that we get reduced/free parking in some places. I recently bought a disabled person’s railcard to get cheaper train fares, too. Phone bill: £20 Savings? Varies – usually £200-£600 per month but it’s all for short-term use (i.e. when sick pay runs out). Other: Netflix £7.99, gym membership £30, monthly direct debits to various charities £22, cleaner £42.
6.20am: Woken up by D, who is leaving on a business trip for the week. As I’m up, I may as well do some shopping… Order a gift hamper for my grandad’s birthday (£32), then get some photos printed for D. I’m making him a keepsake album so that he’ll have something to treasure when I’m gone. £7.95
9.45am: Glorious sunny day! I need to nip out and post the last wedding announcement cards. We recently eloped (romantic and cost-efficient!) and decided to tell everyone by sending out nice cards. Regretting the card idea a bit after multiple trips to the post office. £9
12pm: Early lunch at home before heading out to a new art class – a free session for cancer patients that’s run by a local charity. I’m really grateful for this sort of stuff because being on sick leave is so isolating – it’s crazy how much you can miss everyday interactions when you aren’t working. I’m running late, so take the bus. Use my bus pass so it’s free.
5.30pm: Feeling inspired after art class and book myself a calligraphy workshop for next month. I might be starting new treatment soon so splurging makes me nervous (unpredictable side effects could mean I have to cancel at short notice), but it’s sunny and I’m in a good mood so I go for it anyway. £58
7.30pm: Catch up with a friend at a gig. Tickets were £10 each but I bought them weeks ago. It’s BYOB so I grab a couple of beers from the fridge to take with me. Cycle to the venue – first time riding my bike in months. Feeling pretty proud about this six-mile round trip!
Total: £106.95
Day Two
7.30am: Exhausted but need to get moving because I’m meeting a friend for a walk. She’s on maternity leave at the moment so I spend a lot of time with her and her baby. Make some porridge to see me through the morning.
10.30am: Take my friend to a local co-op café for coffee and cake after our walk. Sugar-free 'anti-cancer' diets aren’t for me – eat what makes you happy! I order a large cappuccino for her, a mocha for me and a pastry to share (£7.50). We go here a lot, and this time I finally decide to join the co-op. £5
1.45pm: Go home and make risotto using stuff from the cupboard. I ended a three-month stint of treatment a few weeks ago, and I spent so much time in and out of hospital that I relied on takeaways and WH Smith meal deals to see me through. It cost a fortune and was probably horrible for my health, so cooking at home with cheap, fresh veg feels like a luxury.
3.15pm: Spend almost an hour on the phone to the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) trying to update my married name on their records. I’m so worried about inadvertently committing benefit fraud. I receive benefits called Personal Independence Payment (PIP) because I’m likely to die within the next six months. Of course, we never really know when we’re going to die…and I’m hoping to be around longer than that! Check emails while I’m waiting. Each month I do 12 hours of home-based volunteering for a local charity, and now seems like a good time to catch up on my to-do list.
4.15pm: Finally through to DWP! If I want to change my name, I need to confirm it in a letter. Wish they’d made that information available on the website so I didn’t have to spend ages on hold.
6.30pm: Dinner for one tonight. Start cooking – a new recipe, lentil and mango curry – but my heart isn’t in it. I have a headache and I’m anxious that it’s a brain tumour. I have a brain MRI and a full body CT every three months and I’m waiting for the results of my latest scans, so I’m on edge. There are no words to describe the stress of cancer. Grab myself a Diet Coke from the fridge because we all know that it is the cure for everything. D calls so I take a break and we catch up on our days. No cost for dinner as I had all the ingredients.
8.05pm: The curry is ready! Watch Netflix over dinner before having an early night.
Total: £12.50
Day Three
7.25am: Leftover coconut milk = tropical porridge! Eat in front of BBC Breakfast. I love Dan and Louise a bit more than is possibly acceptable? Sort out a new phone contract at the same time: I’m going from 8GB per month to 100GB for the same price and getting £60 cashback. Nothing to pay today though! Realise that I’ll need to print the details at some point – I keep a folder of all my important financial stuff so that it will be easier to sort out my estate once I’ve died.
9am: Yoga class. I buy class credits upfront, so today is already covered. Check how many credits I have left and spot that I have an unused 8-class pass that’s about to expire. I bought it a while ago but was too ill to practise. I’ll email the studio and beg for forgiveness (and an extension) later.
11.15am: Race home on the bus to see our neighbours before they go away for a few weeks. We’re really close and they’re my lifeline when D is abroad. I’m going to miss them! They empty the contents of their fridge and freezer on me. Free food is appreciated because I’ve just received an email from work to remind me that I only have 30 days of paid sick leave left. I thought I had more time! If I’m accepted on the trial, I won’t be able to work for at least three more months – and after that, who knows? Shit. I have income protection insurance that will pay out for up to five years once the paid sick leave ends – and I’m really privileged to be in this position – but the money is only enough to cover rent and bills. D and I need to have a serious talk about finances when he gets home.
1pm: Lunch (scrambled eggs, toast and salad) courtesy of my neighbours’ fridge.
5pm: Yoga pass extended! People are kind.
9pm: Have a dizzy spell in the middle of painting my nails. Trip and spill red nail polish all over the carpet. Argh! Call D in a panic, but he’s thousands of miles away and already asleep. Shit shit shit. Attempt to remove the stain, but realise quite quickly that I’m going to need a professional...
Total: NOTHING! But plenty of things I’m going to be paying for later.
Day Four
8.10am: Slept awfully last night but the cleaners have arrived, so… It’s technically D’s turn to pay them but he’s not here so I dig out the cash. Regret being home while they’re around because although they’re very friendly, they’re convinced that I’d beat cancer if I just found God. And they don't do stain removal. £42
11.30am: Decide to take a spontaneous trip to the beach! My oncologist has clinic today and I usually keep the day free in case I’m called in at short notice, but no call = time for me. It’s a two-hour journey and feels a bit extravagant for an afternoon, so I make sandwiches instead of buying something on the train. I’m basically your grandma. Return train fare costs £35.85.
2pm: Hire a bike! Cycle along the beach! Live my best life! £6
3.15pm: Treat myself to a 99, sadly not 99p (were they ever?). £2.30
5.30pm: My nurse calls to set up my first trial appointment for next week. I still need to get the final scan results, but this appointment means that I don't have any brain tumours! This is massive news. Text D immediately. We'll celebrate this weekend!
6pm: Festive gin on the train home. I'm so, so relieved! £4.30
8pm: Order takeaway because now our oven is playing up. I can’t even. But I have been craving chips all the way home anyway. £14.55
Total: £105
Day Five
9am: Lie-in! Check my phone and see that this week's PIP has arrived. Half goes into a spending pot, and the other half gets saved in my Marcus account. I'd love to blow the savings on a real bucket-list holiday, but I can't get travel insurance because my tumours aren't stable. I'm not going anywhere any time soon. Chances are the money’s going to end up paying my rent at some point.
10am: Make a chilli to use up some of the neighbours’ food before it goes bad. Split it into portions and stash it in the freezer for when D’s away again, I’m ill, and I can’t be bothered to cook. Order some supplies for art class while the chilli’s bubbling away. I use Amazon Smile so I can donate to charity at the same time. I’m not sure how much Amazon actually gives, but every penny counts, right? £8.95
12pm: Early lunch at a friend's house as he and his partner are working from home. They ask me not to bring anything and this time I actually listen, but I feel like a bad guest nonetheless. Surprisingly, we end up talking about money over lunch and I leave thinking how happy I am (for once) to have neither a mortgage nor a child right now.
3.45pm: Wander into town in the sun and end up in Gap buying underwear that I definitely don't need. £14.40
4.30pm: Meet another friend after she finishes work. I promise that my weeks are never normally as sociable as this one! Being on long-term sick leave is the loneliest experience I have ever had. If you know someone in the same position as me, give them a call. Please? Anyway – we eat obligatory sunny-day ice cream and go on a long walk through the park. I treat her to ice cream as she's had a tough week. £6.20
7pm: D is back! Very happy to see him. I bake salmon and we have an evening in front of the TV.
Total: £29.55
Day Six
9am: D can’t believe that I now have a 100GB SIM package (but I do, I really do!) and starts trawling the internet to try and find his own. We end up falling down a money-saving wormhole thanks to Money Saving Expert, and over breakfast we change broadband provider (saving £15 per month) and order a load of water-saving freebies from the water company.
10am: We’re going to the zoo! Once again the weather is way too beautiful to stay indoors. D pays for entry (£16 each) and I…pay for the toll bridge on the way there. 5p (seriously)
1pm: Lunch at the zoo is on D. He earns more than twice as much as me, so he tends to pay when we go out to eat. This was just a nice thing that happened when I was working full-time, but now that I’m on sick leave and have time for endless cups of coffee/takeaway/lunches out it is actually really helpful. Zoo food is crap. We basically eat school dinners, but for three times the price.
2pm: I don’t remember feeling this bloated at school, though? Bleurgh!
4pm: Stop in a picturesque village on the way home and pick up some pastries from a small bakery, mainly to try and remove the taste of Zoo Food. £3
5pm: Get home and check the post to discover a letter from the DWP – mysteriously addressed to my married name. I’m not quite sure how it got there, but at least that’s one thing off my to-do list.
7pm: Dinner at home because we’re still eating through the neighbours’ leftovers. Hang out here because I’m too tired to do anything else. I manage to convince D that we should both try the peelable face masks that I bought a couple of weeks ago (is this one of the reasons why I married him?). The rubbery stuff gets everywhere, but it’s so satisfying to peel off.
Total: £3.05
Day Seven
9am: Need a lot of coffee to get going this morning. Being bothered by some rib pain, possibly from the tumours in my lung. D takes a look but can't see any swelling or bruising. Really hope it's nothing! My cancer has been mercifully asymptomatic recently. Make a note to mention the pain to my oncologist at my next appointment.
11am: I was so wrapped up in scan results this week that I forgot that it was also my dad’s last day at work – he’s just retired. Oops. Go out to pick up a card. Get some micellar water and conditioner too as I’ve run out of both. Spy a discounted chicken on the way out…we'll have that for lunch. £15.52 in total.
1.45pm: So exhausted that D has to take over and finish getting lunch ready. I’m usually pretty sad about this as I love cooking so much, but currently too tired to care. Chicken is delicious though!
2.30pm: Fall asleep on the sofa. Not leaving the house today.
4.15pm: D wakes me up with tea and chocolate. Yes.
4.30pm: Attempt to be more productive and start exploring an online training course that could support my volunteering. It is really giving my brain a workout, but that feels good after so long out of the office. Sign up for a one-month trial of the site so I can access all the content – must remember to cancel.
6.15pm: Feel as if I’ve spent way too much time sitting down. Decide to bake some cookies to take to my next art class tomorrow. We’ve got plenty of ingredients in the cupboard, which is handy because I’m already in my pyjamas and I have absolutely no intention of leaving the house again today.
7.40pm: I made the cookies. We ate the cookies. Will probably buy some treats on the way to class tomorrow instead. Make dinner (mushroom, spinach and goat’s cheese gnocchi) but neither of us have much of an appetite anymore.