Many of us have a love/hate relationship with Twitter. Sometimes it's funny and informative; other times, it feels repetitive and overrun with trolls. But Twitter is probably at its best when someone uses the platform to make a valid point in a concise and easily digestible way.
Last week, writer Matt Walsh used Twitter to complain about what he perceives as a "lack of male spaces" in society.
"The lack of male spaces in our culture begins in the home," he tweeted, "where a man is often forced to set up his 'man cave' in the garage or the basement if he wants any space to himself in the home he owns and pays for."
Fellow writer Kathleen Anthony saw the tweet, and used it as an opportunity to unpack Walsh's overwhelming male privilege and lack of self-awareness.
"The point is that you act like having a designated recreation space is an expulsion," she wrote, "when the reality is that the already-taken space inside your home is filled with her LABOR, not her ownership.
"If it feels unfair that you (gen. you) have to cross a driveway or take stairs to occupy your very own space where all you have to think about is what sounds like fun for YOU, well gosh. It's hard for me to create space in my heart for that. Bc I don't have a woman cave. The house that you don't feel like you own? I run it for our family."
Later in the thread, Anthony returned to Walsh's broader point and delivered an impeccable clap back.
"If the "lack of male spaces" that you're referring to is a reflection of your grief that you have to share what you felt should be "male spaces" with non-male people, then you are aggrieved because women and non-binary people are living full lives," she wrote. "Why does the presence of non-male people inhibit your ability to do you? Just sit with it."
Check out her full thread below.
1) You're mad about the location of the man cave. What was your first-choice location? Kitchen? Thanks! Wouldn't mind if you did. Living Room? Great! The kids need help w/ their homework. Bathroom? Great, would you clean the toilet while you're in there?
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
3) occupy your very own space where all you have to think about is what sounds like fun for YOU, well gosh. It's hard for me to create space in my heart for that. Bc I don't have a woman cave. The house that you don't feel like you own? I run it for our family.
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
5) How can I make my man feel like he owns his house? Wait. Is that my job? No. No it is not. Your feelings of inadequacy or displacement are your job, and there are lots of ways you can deal w/ them. Make a list of the ways you know you live here: "My mail. My fam. My laundry."
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
7) Note that he doesn't *just* grocery shop. He takes on the mental work of planning the meals, checking the pantry, making the list, and talking to everyone about their schedules and wants, in addition to the physical work of shopping for food. He owns it. It's his.
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
9) that you have to share what you felt should be "male spaces" with non-male people, then you are aggrieved because women and non-binary people are living full lives. Why does the presence of non-male people inhibit your ability to do you? Just sit with it.
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
11) Because your observations seem to be designed to make men in partnerships feel like they're missing out because *she also needs space*. I think that's worth noticing and examining and questioning.
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
13) respect. And if so, you have to take responsibility for making that life happen. My core thesis is this: Whatever you want, chances are she wants it too. If you're not getting it, chances are she isn't either. No matter how deep your man cave is,
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
PS - I'm a working writer. If you liked this, thank you for reading it. Yes, please, go on and share it w/ attribution!
— Katie Anthony (@yokatykatikate) May 4, 2018
& If you fist-pumped and want to turn that into a fist-bump, you can do that here--
recurring <3: https://t.co/9x86dqoRuH
one-time <3: https://t.co/8TiDIICt7W
It's safe to say a lot of fists will be pumping, and pumping the air emphatically, after reading this thread.
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